Postpartum wow truly humbling as an individual, couple and family

The expansion of the human race

I now know how our species the human race continues and evolves: it is through the power of a mothers love. Our ability to be completely and utterly present with our off spring to attune to them and love them so deeply we can completely put our needs aside and uplift them while they are vulnerable and lead them to thrive and grow along side our body. It is truly the most powerful thing to love another at this maternal instinctual and intuitive level. And it changes everything.

The depth of presence shared between mother and child at the postpartum stages for me has been the most sacred experience of my life. spending each day studying and examining my baby learning everything about them, each of their ques, cries, sounds, movements, needs, wants, smells, and staring at each other. Holding them is the most reciprocal nourishment I have ever received.

Sensitivity and care for women as they union with the sacred

Witnessing mother and child love and innate union and the purity of presence a mother and child only know and thrive off of is a sacred gift to cherish. Witnessing insight into the creation of our people and the ability of woman to naturally model caring for another unconditionally is in my opinion time and time over the key to life.

As a partner to a woman who gives birth I believe taking the time to understand the depth of how sacred this journey is for them is very important. You are witnessing something beyond come to life it is a spiritual experience. Women must be nurtured loved and cared for in this transitional time they have gone on a masterful journey to bring our people to earth from portals in the sky which we hold the key to.

Postpartum shadows, shocks, and revelations!

It is an extremely powerful experience for all including the partner. If you have not done an immense amount of self work and liberation and reparenting I believe this sacred time can be triggering and really challenge individuals and consequentially relationships with the option to admire this experience and have the capacity to see and hear about its power and beauty or completely trigger partners and make them feel insecure, weak, overwhelmed with confusion and fear.

It is a vulnerable time for all and certainly invites major change and catalyst moments for growth or closings to relationships. I believe this is because these unnavigated wounds will in fact surface once baby arrives there is no doubt and ultimately if you have not done the work on yourself to have the ability to tap into emotional availability, maturity and strength you will likely really struggle to face this level of creation and nurture and unconsciously hurt our women who birth without realizing it. In my experience We need to help men better prepare for being partners and supporting women through the birth portal and postpartum sacred periods.

All wounds shadows and dark sides are brought to light after birth if they have not been tended to prior.

We speak about postpartum for women but not for men?

Triggers and trauma for men is really not talked about. Seeing a sovereign mother raise and nurture her child in a safe, pure, and confident way is very triggering to some who did not receive that attunement and treatment as children.

In retrospect I think my partner had the most challenging postpartum. Once the baby arrived it triggered within him deep insecurities and childhood wounding. He got scared and let this fear overwhelm him to the point that he did not trust my instincts or intuition and grabbed on tightly to his childhood conditionings to guide him which meant actively challenging me and my care of the baby while being unable to be present or available. Some examples were did not like that I breastfed, held the baby, or that I met babies needs instead of letting cry.

After being nurturing and present my whole pregnancy suddenly once the baby arrived he completely was taken over by his trauma and it was very confusing and hard for me to understand where it was all coming from.

I had to focus on the baby and I did just that. My partner numbed himself and ignored us he became dismissive and avoidant and obsessed with technological distractions and most sadly would judge and degrade my connection and attunement with child which I think was the unconscious goal to align with childhood traumas.

I had an understanding of some of his childhood wounds and insecurities in relation to his mother prior to birth but was not hit with the weight of what that meant until I delivered. In dismantling slavery conditionings I talk about intergenerational trauma and the impact of slavery conditionings and why and what freedom and sovereignty mean to me and why it’s so important.

Being challenged to the core

I was presented a situation where I would be challenged to my core who I was as a woman and mother and everything I worked for in my liberation would be challenged. I had reached a level of peace so deep within myself the way I understand it is that I was being sent not only the test of a lifetime but the stepping stone to applying all my work and raising a next generation free from these harmful conditionings. I was at war with the old paradigm and all I could do was make sure my and my babies light shines as bright as possible and that I assert boundaries and uplift my daughter daily.

Rage and Resentment

I allowed myself to face and be very real and clear with my rage and the change and needs it was requesting. Lightning bolts of rage were screaming out of my back.

It infuriated me that he was not praising, celebrating, honouring the feminine and I felt taken advantage of and not seen or understood, appreciated or respected and it really hurt. I had to admit to myself out loud that I hated who my partner was in his shadow state and this really helped. He was infusing me with rage I had never experienced before. Deep resentment was formed. He was taking up too much space and quickly I realized I was giving away my power and allowing him to consume my space. I was in control of the experience and direction I will live and I had to create some energetic boundaries.

Using all the tools

I did a lot of therapy to support energy healing, asha healing, soul contract work, and talk therapy. I had to use all my tools. What it came down to at the end of the day was that he was not willing to grow or improve or work on himself and I had to accept that and remove myself from his field simple as that.

Then what I learned further is that the level of trauma he was dealing with was on an entire different cultural level then I have ever experienced or known possible. He was a survivor of the lateral violence of slavery informed parenting.

It brought me back to the root of a multi past lifetime cycle I have been working at freeing myself from directly correlated to slavery. I understood the depth of slavery conditionings and programming’s we were dealing with and that I was strong enough to face this root issue no longer within myself but beyond myself in the culture and society that I had done enough work within myself I could now start to make a difference with the collective. Starting with breaking the cycle of raising our people with the programmed belief systems and conditionings of slavery and setting boundaries with those who still are.

Having the ability to witness an experience that someone else is going through and not let it become your own or influence you takes immense strength especially when you are living together full time. It is a testament to the work I have done at reclaiming my sovereignty. to witness anothers darkness, wounds, and shadows but refuse to go into that tunnel with them instead invite them to come out when they are ready but have the boundaries and self respect to leave is so important. You can have compassions for ones journey but you do not need to tolerate their behaviour if it is harmful.

Limerance is a state of accepting someone and having continual compassion. Many men need their partners to be in a state of limerence for the relationship to continue if they are not willing to actively participate in working on themselves, their wounds, and shadows, childhood patterning and conditionings.

I share this because unexpectedly I found myself unexpectedly directly confronting the old paradigm of fear, shame, guilting, and anger and using the culmination of my strength to navigate against it in the direction of love, sovereignty, and secure attachment and attunement I aim to raise my daughter with. I was confronted with the reality of my compassion and tolerance and my capacity for limerence supporting toxic behaviours in men and needing to draw a line.

Unfathomable Power of Mother

At a certain point I realized he does not have the capacity to be emotionally available, to see or hear me right now and I cannot expect or ask that of him at this time. I’m not sure what he’s going through but I committed to health and wellness of my child and self and I vowed to to not let it be my experience what he is projecting and I will not let him influence this essential bonding and development time with my daughter. I will not let his unhealed wounds tamper or dim our light. I will teach my daughter by example what it is to take your power back and shine your light with confidence, to not be belittled or shattered by the misunderstanding and toxic patterning and wounding of men who are scared to open and see or accept women and mothers in our innate power, divine union, sacred and true connection for the powerful beings we are and thus try to bring us down instead of uplift. No Sir!

Sovereign, Free, Liberated, Conscious living

The moment my child arrived an unwavering power immediately overcame me. I could speak with a volume and strength I previously had never reached. I was could immediately address any and all needs and wants and my awareness grew to areas I may had not noticed before

The experience that I navigated facing the depth of my partners wounds, immature shadows, and darkness at a time of my greatest enlightenment, light, and divine union was a wild and extreme contrast like none other. It was without a doubt my greatest challenge to date and my greatest test.

I noticed a pattern of things re-appearing twice in my life and having the opportunity to experience a parallel time line with a sovereign choice. I had already been down the route and fully exposed and familiar with the emotional abusive relationship and disrespect and disempowerment from men has been a common theme for me in work and relationship. I was not about to take this route again but I witnessed the pattern resurface and had already vowed to no longer learn my lesson through suffering. The challenge was to soften. I had extended my full capacity for compassion, support, and upliftment. I had to accept this person did not want to awaken in the face of this gift they wanted to hold at the identities of their past and I had to accept that not everyone wants to or is ready to work on themselves or heal. As troubling as this was for me to encounter I had to soften and accept this was what was presenting for some reason for me and in this immense and unexpected challenge is a lesson and a key an experience I was meant to have to launch me even further into my continued expansion. That the polarity at such an extreme is symbolic and a mirror to the state of humanity currently and at this source of awakening it is very painful and unwanted for some and their will be great projections and at this first months of life for my daughter she witnessed the strength of her mother to maintain her sovereignty, joy and essence and purpose in birthing a new world through living by values of her true and secure nature. To face darkness head on with awareness of light of processes and opportunities. This too shall pass. Everything is working out best case scenario. These are test solidifying my healing and living and being in awareness.

Joy, enthusiasm, curiosity, and life force energy!

I allowed myself to have and embody my own experience and shielded my daughter as we worked everyday on our growth and empowerment and development through secure attachment and nervous system regulation. I am so moved and inspired by her and me and this is a time in my life I am very proud of overcoming and setting a tone for going forward. I am to be respected, valued, appreciated, loved, nourished and celebrated and I will reflect that back with all those I encounter.

Six months later my daughter is so secure, connected, joyful and absolutely incredible I am so proud of the work I put in where my partner at the time challenged me not to. Following my instincts and intuition as a mother is the guiding principle I will always return to.

Trauma is common in some shape or form after birth I was adamant of not having trauma involved in my birth or postpartum but interestingly to a degree it was. It taught me a new lesson that in life it seems there are constantly parallels good and bad happening at the same time. And it really comes down to a choice of what we choose to nourish that takes the lead to our daily experience. our mindset is such a powerful tool and it is easy to have blindspot when all is going well things can come up and surprise you so its important to be ready for pendulum swings and finding clarity along the way.

Accepting a new relationship

New shadows and triggers and needs ultimately led to the creation of an entirely new relationship for which you have to work extraordinarily hard for continuing or closing.

it is an experience I never expected and it really is fascinating to get to the point of absolute resentment and rage to still at the end of the day be parents together and need to find proactive solutions for team work and ultimately have a shared child.

Choosing to meet each other again and get to know each other anew

Having a baby changes you. There is no doubt about it every moment since I have had my baby I have been a new person. I am incredibly powerful there is a force that comes with motherhood that also keeps our babies and species alive. we know how to nourish them protect them and grow and fuel them. It is a source of life so powerful to exchange and nurture between mother and child. I am so powerful and so vulnerable at the same time communing with the sacred.

In time maybe my baby daddy and I will be able to see or understand each other again but after much trial and failure what was best for us was a slow separation. This is how we will best work as a team, couple and family.

Intergenerational healing

birth brings everything to the surface all wounds and shadows and unhealed trauma and conditionings. At the root of the issues we were facing was my partners intergenerational trauma. Conflict is normal in relationship however repair was not possible at the space he was at which I had to accept. Being attuned and aligned with motherhood I was critiques and judged in every connection I made with my child and I had to draw a boundary that I would not accept this. this came doom intergeneral trauma and comnditioning to be domesticated to not having a voice, not having a say or ability to make decisions for self and the disempowerment of women. I am here to lead by example for my daughter to live freedom of mind body and soul.

Some things that helped me were revisiting the book the 4 agreements and the power of the word. I was sent immense amonts of emotional poison through words I had neutraulize by remembering to not take things personally and to be impeccable with my word. to choose to live heaven on earth with my daughters among the inner hell her father was up against and prohecting on to us. we v were observers it was not easy but I am fortunate I was abble to not let it consume me.

Upon on travels to guadelouoe it became clear the purpose of everything I had be through was leading me to the next breakthrough that I was ready to shine light on the direct link to I tergenerational healing of our guadeloupean people specifically women and mother and the conditionings of disempowerment and disconnect critiquing and judging I was so relieved it all came to the surface to be understood I was meant to face this directly so i could even better support my daughter as we heal our lineage through breaking these patterns and codes that are no longer serving us.

Meeting the in-laws

Breaking cycles of slavery conditionings

The unsettling and sad reality for many people of African descent people is dealing with the repercussions and intergenerational trauma at the root is a connection to slavery. So deep that is engrained in how children are raised. Raising children as servanta needs to stop for many women this is all they knew and to be of value you had to be a servant and so they would raise babies to be the best at this. Which meant giving orders that had to be obeyed not allowing any communication or challenging of orders beliefs and conditions making assumptions very deep and engrained in

How I new it wasn’t working and why seperating was the best option for us:Reactivity inability to take feedback , defensiveness inability to listen dismissi

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